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Łukasz Jakóbiak
|faction = Psychopaths|category = Joke Characters}} Łukasz Jakóbiak 'is a somewhat famous Polish guru and motivational speaker that wanted to meet up and appear on Ellen DeGeneres' show someday. About Łukasz Jakóbiak Łukasz Jakóbiak is a Polish guru and motivational speaker than wanted to meet up on Ellen DeGeneres show. His main philosophy is that as long as you think about something you want, it will instantly happen to you, or happen to you at some point in the future no matter what actual work, effort and dedication you have to put into it. If you think about wanted to screw your friend's sexy aunt, it ''will happen, no matter what. You don't have to have confidence, good self esteem, good intentions and a gentleman behavior in order to go so far to drill your joystick into her baby hole. You don't have to meet her or make eye contact. You don't even have to dream. Just think, and it will happen. Take his word for it. His best act was probably orchestrating his fetish-like fantasy making a fake Ellen DeGeneres show and acting as if it's real, showing that yes, you can think about anything you want and have it happen to you. History When he was young, he had cross eyes and grew up in Poland. Everyone made fun of him left and right, but he was going to prove them someday he would be on Ellen DeGeneres show... for some reason. Not sure what that has to do with the bullies, but we think he was trying to prove he'd be on her show. We still don't see why this will trounce his bullies, but shut up and listen. So, he became a Polish guru and grew to be a motivational speaker about his amazing philosophy. He is presumably famous among the Polish community but he's not so famous around the world. As explained in the About Łukasz Jakóbiak section, he wants to inspire people that anything can happen as long as you put your mind into it. Again: screwin' your friend's aunt. However, his dream truly came true when he was confirmed to appear on the Ellen DeGeneres show... by Ellen DeGeneres herself! Alright, so everyone in Poland is finally happy and flourishing with joy after their lord and savior Łukasz was confirmed to appear in his dream show. We get our feet wet. And when we see Ellen... she looks... different? Well, she appears rather pudgy and a lot fat than she used to look a week before the show occurred. Her face also got slightly pudgier, but you can really tell she's fat with her undershirt bumpin' out a bit. But we clearly know this is Ellen. Maybe she just ate a lotta pizza, coke and ice cream, and is actually not just a fake actor hired to- oh, sorry, getting way ahead of myself. So, the actual show starts. What we see is Ellen doing her usual explaining the guy coming thing, then we see a preview of her and Łukasz... talking, in the... show. Huh. That's weird. The show hasn't happened yet, but they're already previewing this? Well, who cares. He comes into the show excited and can't believe this is going on. They talk on how Łukasz, the man himself came to be and how his dream to be on Ellen's show is indeed possible. However, the outside audience gets a little questionable. We suddenly see.. what, well appears to be Ellen again in front of the audience when the Ellen on the stage describes this friend of hers. We have no clue who this friend is, and why she's looks just like Ellen. It gets very meta. She does not appear or speak anymore in the show after she was showed just once. Ellen describes how Łukasz met her and Lady Gaga. It is revealed that Łukasz's humor actually showed that he stalked Lady Gaga. And when asked if he was allowed onto a stage show from Lady Gaga, he said, "Yes and no." We're made to believe he tried, but security quickly identified him and carried him out. He went back to the venue for two hours from the stage show, knowing Lady Gaga would exit in her vehicle, and "suddenly saw a car with his face on it" that was Lady Gaga herself. She stopped the car as he asked for a picture. Cute. Except the fact he still intentionally waited two hours to meet her and take a photo which is creepy in itself. He met Lady Gaga, that's cool, but they suddenly show a selfie of Łukasz appearing next to Ellen's bed, sleeping, and him grinning. It's weird, because... Ellen didn't care to explain how this photo was taken. It gives off a creepy vibe, don't you think? Just a completely un-explainable photo that neither of them care to explain, where Łukasz is taking a selfie next to her bed. We're lead to believe he deliberately broke into her house and took the photo while she was sleeping and unaware. We also kinda believe Ellen may have been extremely resistant to some activity he wanted. It's like as if Ellen didn't know this photo was taken after she asked if he had any photos with her. But, no. It gets weirder. Ellen says "he can't do this" jokingly, in which he responds he can jokingly. Ellen asks what's the story behind meeting his singer Anastasia, one of his favorite singers. In short, it's revealed he went back and forth to different planes and be on her own, requesting to sit next to her for two hours. A "secret informer"--which is heavily believed to be a blatant hacker, who likely broke into her public information concerning her plane rides told him where and when she was exactly going to land. In which if this is true, that's extremely illegal. When he arrived to Bulgaria he "wanted her to feel comfortable" and not threatened by this completely random person that found out her exact landing times from a "secret informer" and coerced her into doing an interview with him. Of course, he took a photo with her in the plane. What did you expect? Finally, the show ends sometime later. It has been established that this is possibly one of the most creepiest, disturbing, terrifying famous men that walk on our planet. Oh, and it's revealed by him that the show and Ellen were fake. It's widely led to believe this man is 'effed up. We are scared, threatened, and worrying about our friends, family and people who care about us because of this man. He orchestrated a fake show trying to show that dreams are possible as long as you think about it. Which is extremely hypocritical because it's a fake show! The extent of his fetish, fantasy, or whatever it is leads us to believe he has lost a grasp of reality. And who knows what powers he had? That random Ellen clone? The show being previewed before it started? Perhaps this guy didn't hire an actor to appear as a goofy dollar-store looking Ellen? Perhaps he has reality warping and time manipulation powers? '''Who knows!? Forms |-|Base form= Łukasz Jakóbiak *'Natural Creepiness' - With his famous laugh, he can give off a naturally extremely creepy vibe that makes people feel like he is a serious criminal threat that will harm them. *'Location Finding' - He can easily find anyone's location and orchestrate trying to meet up with them. May include a selfie with you sleeping, and he may want to obligate the option of wanting to stretch your butthole. |-|TRUE CREEPAGE= TRUE CREEPAGE ŁUKASZ JAKOBIAK In this form, Łukasz Jakóbiak embraces the true sinister evil and creepage in his final form. He is surrounded by an extremely powerful blood red aura that heavily illuminates his body. His aura's sound also emits massive earrape. *'Time Manipulation' - TRUE CREEPAGE ŁUKASZ JAKOBIAK can easily control time. His time abilities augment when using his own unique Stand known as FETISH THREAT. His Stand is the spirit of the fake Ellen. Yes, it must be in all caps. *'Reality Warping' - TRUE CREEPAGE ŁUKASZ JAKOBIAK can easily use reality warping. His reality warping is also augmented by FETISH THREAT. *'Earrape Soundwaves' - His aura automatically gives off earrape soundwaves that are unbearably damaging to the ears. *'Omniversal Location Finding' - In his final form he can locate anything in existence, and the obligations of stretching your butthole will be extreme, and may very well kill you. Category:Role-Play Characters Category:Joke Character Category:Humans